Friday 30 March 2007

Pub Crawl Massacre: Part Seven


Bunny sat on the toilet. She remebered the claim "Fast acting relief" from the box. Due to the finite capacity of her Louis Vuitton bag she'd only taken the blister pack. Could you take these in conjunction with alcohol? She couldn't remeber. Unfortunately she was already drunk and this presented her with little recourse.

As she pulled out the blister pack she was surprised to see that several tablets had already been taken out. She necked two herself.

"Not long to wait now I hope" she thought, gazing round at the graffitti. Maybe she could relax and enjoy herself later if she wasn't so backed up. After only about three minutes her bowels pulsated. She was most surprised. Far from reducing the tablets actions it seemed that alcohol had a positive excitatory effect. Within a few seconds powerfull contractions sent the contents of her colon shooting through her flacid sphincter.

A little taken aback by the suddeness of this normally carefully controlled proceedure she shook herself, cleaned up and got up to join the others.

The first thing Bunny noticed was Penny and Felix carefully coming through the front door, Felix simultaneously feeling Penny's bottom.

"Where have you two been?" she asked, beginning to feel better and wanting more drink.

"What'av you been doing in there?" interupted Benedict before anyone could answer.

She blushed.

Drunk Girl kindly explained that they were playing truth or dare.

She heard a boastful but concise account of the successful assault on the road sign by Penny and Felix. When pressed for further details they'd got back to tongueing eachother.

Bunny now gleaned that Drunk Girl was about to flash her ass through the pool room windows as a forfeit.

"Hey has anyone taken any, er, tablets out of my handbag?" Bunny enquired of the table.

This time it was Toby's time to blush. Only briefly though. He was a master of maintaining a straight face. He wondered what he had dropped into Drunk Girl's glass. The guilt arrived fractionally too late; he was on the verge of asking Bunny when everyone errupted into laughter.

Matt and Lex looked at eachother as the particularly loud peels of laughter cut through the room. Then from the bar they followed the direction of almost all eyes in the pub.

Through the pool room window Drunk Girl was mounted on a pool stool. Her peachy, young posterior was barely hidden by a luminous pink thong, displayed for all to see. Being a natural extrovert and further fuelled by the booze she was having quite a good time.

Then it started to happen. Something ominous suddenly stirred deep within her bowls....

ILLUSTRATION BY MAT.

3 comments:

degs said...

OK - sorry for a little confusion. I've just been through and ironed out a multitude of spelling errors.

I have also changed a couple of plot points for consistency:

The bit in part five where Benedict wants to be tied back on to the nubile young Bunny. This is rubbish! On reading it I was confused - he is tied to esther all along.

The character Tara has been removed. She was only mentioned once in part two as one of the girls who turn up at Drunk Girl's Flat. I can't be bothered to put her in now!

As a whole the plot should make sense now. Any errors just let me know.

Matt showed me a few of his illustration ideas the other day. It was like looking at Leonardo Da Vinchi's sketch pad! Watch this space......

matt said...

Yeah, cheers James! Way to pile on the pressure. ;) Now i've got to get off my arse and finish some.

Mr Axl said...

James, you are an absolute genius. Some point half to two thirds through part seven, the genuine "Oh my god" shock of what was about to happen hit me. Laughter ensued. Cannot wait to read the actual event.

You sir, are somewhat of a national institution.