Thursday, 22 March 2007

Pub Crawl Massacre: Part Five

Bunny wasn't really enjoying herself. Her toes had been sprayed by that disgusting bloke. She tried to join in the conversation with Drunk Girl, Penny and Lolly. She couldn't concentrate. The bitchin music that had just been cranked on was not suitable for her oral palette.

Accross the room she spotted that awful man from the gents. For a brief second he made eye contact and scowled. Then she thought the whole piss on toes incident wasn't an accident. She wanted to leave. To compound her misery she had been suffering from acute constipation for the last couple of days. She began untying herself from Jonty and Lolly.

"Where you going?" Demanded Jonty.

"I need to go to the Ladies" and she snatched up her brown and gold Louis Vuitton bag from under the table.

"That time of the month?" queried Benedict, demonstrating his razor sharp brand of wit.

Unnoticed, the expression of Toby's face flickered as Bunny scooped up her bag. It was the same bag he'd got the tablets from. It wasn't Drunk Girl's bag. Those tablets weren't Rhohypnol.

In the middle of this train of thought Drunk Boy came back from having his slash. He singled out Toby and sat nex to him.

"D'you do it?" he whispered to Toby.

"Yeah... but I think I...", he was interrupted by Benedict; "What are you two gay boys chattin about?"

"Er nothing. I wonder whats taking Bunny so long in there?" said Drunk Boy.

"Rivers flowing red?" responded Benedict, looking really pleased. He couldn't normally reply that quickly to questions.

"I'm bored" said Toby, "How about truth or dare?". He forcefully nudged Felix who was tonguing Penny, ignoring him.

To Toby's suprise all the participants expressed their desire to play.

"Oi Oi" shouted Bendict (affirmative), Lolly and Drunk Girl giggled, Toby and Drunk Boy winked at eachother. The conversation successfully steered away from their suspicious conduct.

Due to their resumed tongue action Penny and Felix were unaware they were being nominated to go first.

"Have you guys ever shagged eachother?" inquired Drunk Girl, prodding them and grinning.

"Is that the question?" asked Felix, a little coy.

"Duh?" responded Drunk Girl sarcasticly.

"We're not answering that" said Penny, rescuing Felix. "We'll take the dare instead."

Toby laid down the gauntlet; "Start small. Go kick over that road works sign at the top of the road."

They all cheered wildly as Felix and Penny got up, cumbersomely hobbled out the door, their ankles and wrists still bound.

At the bar Lex turned to Matt "Shall I ask them to keep it down?"....


degs said...

This is turning out to be much harder than i expected. There are more charachters than i can hold in my head... Rest assured there will be a masacre soon. I am revising people/plot as i go so bear with me. I am getting the typos/blatent mistakes pointed out to me. Hopefully there will be some be more illustrstions - this time by Matt. Please tell me if stuff doesn't make sense!

Mr Axl said...

Stick with it dude. This is the best fucking blog EVER!!!

Steven said...

i think i love you mr currie. this is tremendous blogging! though, i should point out that i see no credit given to me, the artist responsible for the wonderful 'bleaching' picture.


Pipsywoo said...

I'm scared to read the next one, it's going to be really messy isn't it?!
As in pebble dashing