I've had quite an uninspiring week but thankfully Paula, Kate and Lemmy have have taken some inspiration from the news.
James, You Came Too Quickly, It Was Over Too Soon. (By Paula, Kate and Lemmy)
Wipe off my mud flaps, clear off the mess
Will I ever get your cum stains off my dress?
Long, dangly and dirty & I don't mean your cock
Have a posh wank, heres a clean sock
Wet your middle finger, play some strokes
Use your anal beads if your one of "them" blokes
9.35 Still choking your turkey
Didn't realise your mum brought you tea at 9.30
Bernard Mathews says sorry but what will you do?
How were you to know you'd give me turkey flu?
Serve up sunday lunch and all the little critters
I've got a whole epidemic going on in my knickers
Nagatha Krusti? Well, I had to peel it off.
5 mile exclusion zone, my pussy got a cough
No gobble gobble, no sucky 10 dollar
Singe of your pubes and watch you holla
A finger in the arse is worth two in the bush
A full paxo stuffing can make a girl blush
Luckily for you we are not that shy
But a stew of your giblets would be an offal suprise
You turkey wobble wotsit going in for the kill
Vago spasmosis cuz it made me feel ill
So its up to the J.R. to prise us apart
At the point of dislodge, I emit a lady fart
Oh James you only care about breast and leg
Take your eye off the bird, concentrate on the keg.